Still Here
by xXkookyXx
Summary: Natsu is having trouble of letting go of the past. But he knows that just because they say it's lost, doesn't mean it's not hidden


Sadly, **I DO NOT OWN FAIRYTAIL!**

**(But if I did; oh the things I'd add to this anime) *smirks evilly***

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(Natsu's POV)

I bust in through the doors of the guild

"WHERE IS SHE!?" I yell at the guild members

They all look at me with confused faces in silence. Finally someone responds

"Where's who Natsu?" Asked the bartender, Mirajane

I walk up to the bar and slam my hands on the counter "YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT! WHERE. IS. SHE!?"

Mira gives me a sad look but doesn't answer my question.

Which gets me even more aggrivated

"WELL!? ANSWER ME!"

"Hey, HEY!" Says Gray pulling me back from behind

"LET GO OF ME ICE PRICK!"

He's still got me in his grasp. His arms are going under mine and he's grasping my head with his hands. He's got me in a complicated headlock

"Calm down Nastu" he says seriously

"NO! TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!"

The whole guild is still silent. Everyone's faces either hidden by their bangs, or turned the other way.

"WHY ISN'T ANYBODY ANSWERING ME!?" I yell at the top of my lungs

"NATSU! SHE ISN'T HERE ANYMORE! YOU KNOW THAT! AND SHE ISN'T COMING BACK!" Yelled Gray

"LIAR! LIES! ALL OF IT!" I argue

"Natsu..."

I snap out of my tantram for a second. To look at the crying Levy

"Please... it's already hard enough...for all of us..."

I huff and puff. Pushing each breath out in an angry pant

"You, have NO. IDEA. HOW. I. FEEL!" I yell at Levy

She's startled and cries even more.

"Oi!" Says Gajeel coming up from behind the blue haired mage

To seek comfort, Levy runs into Gajeel's arms and cries into his chest

Gajeel holds her tightly. "Just cause you're in a bad mood, doesn't mean you should be biting people's heads off!"

"GET OFF ME!" I say finally getting loose of Gray's grip

I look at everyone's faces. And they all have sadness.

Not happiness

Not joy

Just complete and utter despair. As if the world just ended

And it has. For me anyway.

Lisanna comes up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Please Natsu, it's been 3 years"

"No... No, NO! IT HASN'T" I pull away from her and back up against the doors

Lisanna tries reaching back out for me "Natsu pl-"

"NO! SHE WAS HERE!I STILL SMELL HER!...here" I started to break out into tears

I run out of the guild. Leaving tear droplets behind.

I run to her apartment. I've been paying her rent and keeping everything exactly the way it was when she left it. I don't come here often, just on this day. Scared that my scent will over power hers in time.

As usual, I hop through the window and bury myself in her bed. Her bed still holds her lucious scent. It's faint, but I can still smell it from miles away if I wanted to.

I start to get lost in my mess of thoughts.

*Has it really been 3 years? It seems like yesterday everything happened*

*Flashback*

_This guy was strong. But I never go down without a fight!_

_I charge at him with a fire fist. But he dodges, and as quick as he left. He came back twice as fast, and gives me a brutal punch on my back._

_I fall to the ground. This dude packs a punch._

_I try standing, with my back and the rest of my body aching from the pain. But as soon as I try to get back up, he knocks me right back down._

_"You know, you should really just give up. Your girlfriend already has" He laughs_

_I think *Girlfriend? Who is he talking abo- LUCY!*_

_I turn my face towards her, to find her lying on the ground. Her body sprawled, dry tears on her face, a streak of blood coming from her lip._

_"Lu-cy" I choked out_

_The dark mage, stopped beating me with his fists._

_"Die" He said darkly_

_I thought that would be the end of me. So I looked at Lucy one more time, and thought about everything I never told her. I never told her she was beautiful, I never told her she was strong, I never told her she was the one for me, I never even told her I loved her..._

_I smiled at her, and got ready for the numbing pain and shut my eyes tightly. I heard the magic shoot towards me, but it never made impact. I looked to see what had happened_

_Lucy was in front of me, a smile on her face._

_I look with wide worried yet sad eyes. My emotions were everywhere and very undescribable. I was surprised, sad, EVERYTHING!_

_"I love you" she whispered_

_And just like that, she was gone._

_So was the dark mage._

_I crawled to her and tried shaking her awake "Lucy, don't do this to me. Lucy, Luce?" I look into her eyes._

_They were completely lifeless. No longer containing the spark they once carried when she smiled, laughed._

_"No, no, no, no Luce!? Lucy!" I brush off the pain and somehow find the strength to pick her up and run towards the guild_

_When the guild doors opened, everyone looked to see the horrifying picture_

_"N-natsu, what happened?!" Said Mira while running towards me and Lucy_

_I drop to my knees "P-please just help her" I choke out._

_And everything goes black._

_When I wake up, I'm in the infirmary._

_"W-what? Hey, HEY! WHERE'S LUCY!?"_

_Gray comes in and tries settling me down. "Natsu! Natsu! Calm down"_

_I look at his eyes. They're red. As if he's been crying_

_I knew that was a sign of bad news_

_I jump out of the bed and race out of the room. "Natsu! N-" I didn't have time to let Gray finish_

_I look in each room until I found...her_

_I walk inside slowly. She was lying down, calmy, quiet._

_It was too quiet. I didn't hear her heart moniter. It wasn't plugged in_

_"No..." I whisper_

_Gray runs in. He sees me just standing there with an unbelievable expression_

_"Natsu, we didn't wanna tell you this wa-"_

_"TELL ME WHAT! SHE'S SLEEPING RIGHT?!"_

_I go up to him with tears in my eyes, and pull him by his shirt._

_"TELL ME SHE'S SLEEPING!" I yell_

_"I don't wanna lie to you..."_

_My eyes widen and I put Gray down_

_"I'm sorry Natsu, we tried everything! But, she was gone. It was too late"_

_I turn around to look at her. Flashes of images of her raced into my mind._

_Her smiling, laughing, yelling at me and Happy, sleeping, sad, annoyyed, even in pain_

_But they all had one thing in common_

_She was alive._

_Gray walks out without saying a word_

_I walk up to her and brush her face with the back of my hand._

_Her face was still smooth, but so cold. The warmth and slight pink in her cheeks were gone. She was now just a pale lump of flesh._

_In my mind I thought *This isn't Lucy, Lucy was alive last time I saw her...right?*_

_I stood there and cried_

_I cried for her, for the words unspoken, for the times I didn't protect her._

_I let her down, and now she's dead. Because I couldn't protect her. I don't deserve to love her_

_But yet, I want to. Forever._

*End of Flashback*

I look up at her cieling "Hey Luce? Can you see me from up there?"

I might look and sound crazy because...well... I'm talking to a cieling

But I don't want to think that Lucy is gone. That's why every year on this particular day, I bust through the guild in hoping to finding her. Hoping that maybe one day she'll pop right back up. Because for some reason in the back of my mind and in the bottom of my heart. Lucy isn't dead

No, she's not.

Yes, she may be gone.

But at the same time, she's still here.

Even though it never happened, I think of her as my mate.

I believe it, with every last drop of my soul. I will never be with anybody else. Because I know I will never find anyone like Lucy.

And that's what I want. I want Lucy.

*I smile*

And that's how I think about her

That's how I love her.

"Natsu..." I hear her whisper

Her sweet scent comes flowing past my nostrils

Lucy didn't stay, but she didn't leave either.

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**Hope it was enjoyable :D**

**Review, if you please**


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